You Keep Missing the Target


For roughly ten years I spent my life hunched over the keyboard playing Unreal Tournament 1999 (UT’99), not to blow my own trumpet but I was as some people say, “Sh*t hot!”, I was side jumping whilst being more than aware of X,Y and Z fields of view; those that met the bad end of insta-gib rifle were more than aware of it.  On the odd occasion we had to tone down our play level so we didn’t come across as heartless bastards to weaker teams.  Times have changed however.  Call it age, eye-sight or dulled reflexes (though I prefer to blame lag or gaming pad) but I’m not what I used to be with FPS games.

My current game of choice is Battlefield4 (BF4), I love it.  I love running around the maps, blowing crap up and emptying full magazines of ammunition into pour souls that walk past my well tuned sights.  

Being honest here however I generally unload full magazines perfectly around people rather than into them.  Remember that scene from Pulp Fiction where Vincent and Jules are stood in the apartment and a guy runs out unloading his gun at them from 6ft away and misses with every bullet, well I would be that poor guy who is manoeuvred by God to give Jules his moment of divine intervention.   I can imagine the gamer sat in Prague wondering how I missed from 3ft away with 30 bullets (she then strolls over and stabs me in the chest).

What’s happened to me!? Where have my mad skills gone!?  I’m blaming Warcraft!  Too many days farming Linen Cloth instead of wasting punks from Chad on the Xbox.  Doesn’t help that I can’t drink anything with caffeine in it either.

If you’re crap too and occasionally would like to team up so we can be the Chuckle Brothers of BF4 (Xbox360), then let me know.  Even with the lack of skills I’m still playing and loving it.



Written by: Villordsutch

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